Date: Fri, 02 Sep
2005 16:41:31 -0000
From: "wh892" <wh892@yahoo.com>
Subject: Advice To Judges: Just Say
"No"
Advice To Judges: Just Say "No"
By Don Bieniewicz
Family court judges need to be the
last line of defense for children
when their family ties are at risk.
When divorcing parents come to a family
court judge and each says, "I
am the better parent. Take away the
parental rights of the other parent
and make me the only parent, the sole
custodian of my kids," the judge
should look them both in the eye and
just say, "No."
The judge should say to the parents:
"Is either of you both a mommy
and a daddy? No.
"Is either of you alone capable
of giving your children all the mother's
and father's love and guidance and
protection to which they are entitled?
No.
"Is either of you alone capable
of connecting your children to both
their sets of grandparents and all
their aunts and uncles and cousins
— their full family heritage? No.
"Can either of you alone be loved
by your children in the different
ways that children love their mother
and their father? No.
"The answer to all these questions
is the same. No.
"You are adults. You may no longer
wish to be married. You may wish to
divorce. You have the right to do
this. But you must act responsibly
towards your kids. They are not adults.
They have children's needs that only
both their mommy and their daddy can
satisfy.
"So I will answer your requests
with a simple 'No'.
"You, sir, will remain your children's
father. You, madam, will remain your
children's mother. Absent clear and
convincing evidence that either of
you is a threat to your children,
this is my decision. Look after your
children, both of you. They need you
both.
Don't let them down.
"Learn to work together on this.
If I do have to remove custody from
one of you, it will be because you
have interfered with or attempted
to undermine the other parent in their
contact with, parenting of, or relationship
with their children. Remember that.
"This time I am just saying,
'No.' Next time you try to separate
your children from the other parent,
without evidence of criminal neglect
or abuse, you will be punished.
"Give your children the greatest
gift you can, the freedom to love
their other parent. Support them in
this. Do not let your personal feelings
toward your ex-spouse hurt your children.
When these bad feelings surface and
attempt to motivate you to say or
do things that would hurt your children,
look those feelings firmly in the
eye and just say, 'No.'"
Don Bieniewicz
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/reunitingfathers.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/onfathersrights.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/fightforfathersrights.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/failureoffamilylaw.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/doyoutakethiswomen.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/fatherphobia.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/vawaepidemic.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/dvfactscrouch.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/dvnonfacts.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/superbowlmyth.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/advicetojudges.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/screamqueens.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/vawarenewal.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/constitutionalrightsasparents.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/domesticarmageddon.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/daddyinjail.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/fathersday.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/governmentasfamily.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/legalincentivestolie.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/vawaleavesmen.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/falserapecharges.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/bethanyhousevirginia.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/pilloriedbrokealone.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/insideabattererprogram.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/menundersiege.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/politicsoffatherhood.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/silenceofthegood.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/throwawaydads.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/childsupportwackymath.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/caseforfathercustody.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/fatherschildreunion.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/sinsofdads.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/fathercourage.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/buyingfamilylaw.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/truthaboutchildabuse.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/politicsoffamilybreakdown.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/deadbeatgovernment.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/criminalizationoffatherhood.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/beatingupondeadbeatdads.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/courtorderedchildsupportbad.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/criminalizinghonestfathers.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/PBSpromotesthemythofdv.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/thepoliticsoffatherhood.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/thepoliticsoffamilydestruction.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/restrainingorders.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/responsibilityofmen.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/kidnapachild.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/toolkittodestroy.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/appetiteforfamily.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/vawadistortsreality.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/researchbiasrestrainingorders.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/fathersrightsmalesucide.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/marriagestrikebymen.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/saddamosamame.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/afatheracts.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/fathersrightsiscivilrights
.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/lawshouldnotbar.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/manhoodandfatherhood.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/novirtuevisitation.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/distraughtfathercourthouse.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/debtorsprisoninamerica.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/holidayshitnoncustodial.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/secondclasscitizens.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/bestinterestofchild.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/assultbywomenbibliography.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/redefiningfatherhood.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/phantomevaluations.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/thepoliticsofchildren.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/lookingatviolence.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/openletterbidenhatch.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/openletterinstituteofjustice.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/appetiteforfamilydestruction.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/devaluingofmenvawa.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/throwawaydadsmythandbarriars.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/legalabuseoffathersrights.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/californiajudgedangerous.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/systemencouragesfalse.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/divorceculture.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/endingbiasindvlaws.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/disposevawapork.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/vawamakingdivorcefun.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/honeytrapVAWA.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/VAWAhearingspaintmen.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/indefenseofdeadbeat.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/childsupportatcrossroads.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/whostarteditdoesntmatter.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/riseofbigsisterism.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/womenassexobjects.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/minandristmarriage.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/menfeelingtheblue.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/feministutopia.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/unequalpayforequal.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/biasatwashingtonpost.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/equalityformen.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/feministcoverup.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/feministhatespeech.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/VAWAunconstitutionallaw.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/airbrushingdads.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/msinformation.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/womenloosefeminist.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/dissingdads.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/familydissolution.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/fathersrightsvictory.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/breakingtheheartsofmen.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/feministsubversion.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/supremehysteria.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/failureoffatherhoodpolicy.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/sugarandspice.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/whathavefeministsdone.htm
http://fathersforvirginia.org/articles2005/thewaragainstfathers.htm
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