Glenn Attacks
Raising Boys Without Men in
4 Metro Dailies
My latest
column,
Are Boys Really Better off
Without Fathers? (San
Francisco Chronicle, 8/31/05),
criticizes Peggy Drexler's
new book Raising Boys Without
Men: How Maverick Moms Are
Creating the Next Generation
of Exceptional Men. In it
Drexler asserts that father-absent
homes--particularly "single
mother by choice" and
lesbian homes--are the best
environments for boys.
In the column
I pointed out the flaws in
Drexler's work and warned
that if her research remains
unchallenged, it could become
the underpinnings of a new
trend in family law toward
pushing fathers away from
their children.
My column,
which also appeared in the
Seattle Post Intelligencer
(9/6/05), Arkansas Democrat-Gazette
(9/4/05), and the Omaha World-Herald
(9/12/05), is the only criticism
of Drexler's book yet to be
published in major publications.
Hope I Didn't Spoil the Party...
Most of Drexler's
research was conducted in
the San Francisco Bay Area.
The week
Are Boys Really Better off
Without Fathers? was published
in the San Francisco Chronicle
Peggy Drexler was in the Bay
Area for a series of appearances,
culminating in a "book
release party at San Francisco
City Hall to be attended by
Mayor Gavin Newsom, who was
raised by a divorced mom."
Newsom because famous last
year when he
ordered the issuance of gay
marriage licenses to several
thousand same-sex couples.
After the
column came out Drexler was
offered the opportunity to
debate me on a major, nationally-syndicated
show but declined.
Express Your Opinion on Raising
Boys Without Men
To learn
more about the book, see
Research Psychologist Says
'Maverick Mothers' Are Raising
Exceptional Men (Good
Morning America/ABC News,
8/18/05),
Interview: Five Questions
for Peggy Drexler (San
Francisco Chronicle, 8/28/05),
Boys to men minus dad
(Washington Times, 8/29/05),
and
Homer, make room for real
dads (Dallas Morning News,
8/17/05), in which I'm
also quoted.
If you have
an opinion about
Are Boys Really Better off
Without Fathers? or Raising
Boys Without Men, you can
write a Letter to the Editor
using the following:
Are boys really better off
without fathers?
Seattle Post Intelligencer
(9/6/05)
editpage@seattlepi.com
Are boys better off without
fathers?
San Francisco Chronicle
(8/31/05)
letters@sfchronicle.com
Boys without fathers is not
a logical new idea
Arkansas Democrat-Gazette
(9/4/05)
Letter to the editor
Fatherless boys aren't better
off
Omaha World-Herald (9/12/05)
pulse@owh.com
Michael Savage Praises Glenn's
New Column
According
to Terry, a reader in Cincinnati,
nationally-syndicated talk
show host Michael Savage praised
my column
Are Boys Really Better off
Without Fathers? (San
Francisco Chronicle, 8/31/05)
on the air last week. According
to Terry, Savage was complementary
and said that I have a "clear
understanding of the importance
of male role models."
Savage's show is heard on
450 stations nationwide and
he is a best-selling author.
The Savage
Nation is broadcast on the
same Southern California stations
which have broadcast
His Side with Glenn Sacks.
I remember a couple of years
ago complaining to one of
the board operators that I
was bleeped for saying the
word "Goddamn" when
Savage had just been on saying
that the "Supreme Court
is sodomizing America."
I couldn't argue with the
board operators' answer--"when
you have an audience as large
as his we'll let you say what
you want, too."
Comedian Chris Rock on Fatherlessness
In my column
I referenced Chris Rock on
fatherlessness, writing "As
comedian Chris Rock famously
noted, yes, certainly women
can raise children without
men, but that doesn't make
it a good idea."
I couldn't actually quote
the Chris Rock routine on
fatherlessness because of
Rock's language. It's funny
as hell, though, and straight
to the point. To hear Chris
Rock on fatherlessness,
click here (Warning--explicit
language). We once tried to
splice it together to use
as part of the intro to
His Side but with the
new, post-Janet Jackson FCC
there was no way to get it
on.
California NOW's Grieco Misinformed?
As I mentioned
last week, Helen Grieco, Executive
Director of the California
National Organization for
Women, has just launched an
Internet radio show called
Her Side. Since Grieco
had labeled me a "A women-bashing,
backlash shock-jock radio
host" in a newspaper
article last year, I contacted
her and offered her some pointers.
She and I had a nice conversation,
and she graciously thanked
me on the air last week for
my help.
Helen's next
show, to be broadcast at 1
pm PST this Thursday (9/15)
is called "Dads, Diapers
and Divorce: Crisis in the
Family Law Courts." The
promo states:
"You've
been your children's perfectly
fit, primary caretaker. You
get a divorce and the judge
gives your ex full custody.
Your ex didn't want to pay
child support or just wanted
to take the kids away to hurt
you, and he was an unfit parent
to boot. How was he able to
use the family courts to get
his way? Is this science fiction
or reality TV? All over the
country, courts are giving
custody to fathers who are
abusive and even have criminal
histories. You go crazy and
bankrupt trying to get your
kids back. Meanwhile, some
children commit suicide or
run away; and, others are
killed by fathers who they
begged to not have to go with.
The so-called fathers' rights
movement is marching us back
to the age when women and
children were property of
men. They do so under the
guise of fighting for 'equality.'
There has been no revolution
in parenting in this country;
fathers are still peripherally
involved in most households
before divorce. So, why are
they fighting for equality
in parenting after divorce?
Why should we care and what
can we do?"
Grieco's
guests include Dr. Amy Neustein,
co-author
From Madness to Mutiny: Why
Mothers Are Running from the
Family Courts and What Can
Be Done About It, and
Bridget Marks. We've discussed
many times the ways in which
unscrupulous mothers use false
charges of child sexual abuse
as a way to win custody and
drive fathers out of their
children's lives. Neustein
claims that she lost custody
of her daughter because the
courts were punishing her
for revealing her ex-husband's
sexual abuse of her daughter.
She has become the ideological
leader of a movement
which claims that family courts
are biased against women and
that mothers are punished
for making accusations of
child sexual abuse.
However,
Neustein's adult daughter,
Sherry Orbach, has publicly
refuted Neustein's claims.
In her article "Silent
No Longer: The Other Side
Of Abuse Allegations"
(Jewish Press, 5/27/2005)
Orbach writes:
"I remember
my mother sitting with me
on the plastic covered couch
in my grandmother's country
home at age five as if it
were yesterday. We had been
rehearsing for hours. She
would begin by telling me
a sordid - -and false-- story
about my father, such as a
detailed account about how
he had molested me or about
how he had thrown me violently
against a wall. She then instructed
me to repeat the story word
for word until she was satisfied
with my rendition...
"After
my mother lost legal custody,
I visited her once a week.
During these visits, my mother
used to tape-record me and
pose me for pictures in order
to gain material for her next
media performance...
"For
eighteen years [I am now 24];
I was silent as my mother
spun lie upon lie about my
father and me. According to
her story, she is the victim
of a conspiracy involving
my father, Brooklyn Family
Court, federal and state appellate
courts, the Legal Aid Society,
the Brooklyn Society for the
Prevention of Cruelty to Children,
Ohel family services, and
several leaders of the Jewish
community. These co-conspirators,
my mother insists, punished
her for revealing that my
father had sexually abused
me by taking me away from
her.
"The
truth, however, is that my
father never sexually abused
me, and that reporters and
alleged victims' advocates
who supported my mother chose
to retell her lies without
adequately checking the facts.
"I,
for one, owe my existence
as a normal young adult to
the family judges, Ohel foster
care, and the Legal Aid Society
attorney who helped me reunite
with my father in the face
of considerable opposition
in the media.
"Most
of all, I am grateful to my
father for the sacrifices
he has made for me over the
years."
(The article
is no longer available on
the Jewish Press site but
is posted on
this feminist site. I
have been in contact with
Orbach and offered her the
chance to come on
His Side but she told
me she longed to put the whole
thing behind her and wanted
her Jewish Press piece to
be her only public statement
on the issue).
Bridget Marks
gained notoriety last summer
when she lost custody of her
twin four year-old daughters
to John Aylsworth, her ex-boyfriend.
Marks alleged that Aylsworth
had sexually abused both daughters
during a supervised visitation.
The neutral experts appointed
by the court concluded that
Marks' allegations were false,
and that Marks had coached
the girls to make statements
corroborating her charges.
All three experts recommended
to the court that custody
be awarded to the father,
and Family Court Judge Arlene
Goldberg gave custody to Aylsworth.
Earlier this
year a New York Appellate
court ruled that Bridget Marks
did in fact coach her 5 year-old
twin girls to make false allegations
of sexual molestation against
their father--and then granted
her sole custody of the girls!
At the time I labeled it "one
of the most stunning and unconscionable
court rulings of our time."
While Marks denies any wrong
doing, every judge who has
heard this case--all five--have
concluded that Marks coached
the girls to make the false
allegations. The fact that
Marks was still awarded sole
custody of her daughters speaks
volumes about the anti-father
bias of the family court system.
To learn
more, click
here or see:
Father's Side in Bridget Marks
Custody Case Speaks Publicly
for First Time (His Side,
4/3/05)
Ruling in High-Profile Marks
Custody Case: Painful but
Correct (Men's News Daily,
9/14/04)
In Defense of Judge Arlene
Goldberg (His Side, 6/13/04)
I like Grieco
personally and believe that
she is a fair person who,
if fully informed, would not
sanction the behavior of Marks
and Neustein.
Grieco's
show broadcasts live (with
call-ins at 888-335-5204)
on
www.voiceamerica.com,
an internet radio service,
every Thursday at 1 PM PST.
To listen to archives of Helen's
show, click
here.
Uniting
the Fathers Movement and Fighting
Fatalism
While one
often hears a lot of fatalism
within the fatherhood and
shared parenting movements,
the reality is that we have
made substantial progress
over the past year. I noted
some of these accomplishments
in my Father's Day column
This Year Daddy Began a Comeback
(Riverside Press-Enterprise,
6/19/05).
However,
one of the biggest problems
the shared parenting movement
faces is its seemingly endless
factionalism. It is vitally
important for fatherhood and
shared parenting advocates
to unite politically. The
American Coalition for Fathers
and Children has a solid
program and is the largest
and strongest force representing
shared parenting.
At the "Healing
Our Families Conference"
in Detroit, Michigan in June,
attendees unanimously designated
the
American Coalition for Fathers
and Children as the national
organization promoting Shared
Parenting as the core mission.
With 40,000 members nationwide
and affiliated organizations
in nearly two dozen states,
the ACFC is working to creating
a family law system which
promotes equal rights for
all parties affected by divorce.
Recent events
show that we can win victories.
I urge you to join the ACFC
or, if you are already a member,
to renew your membership.
A list of ACFC affiliates
can be found
here. You can join or
renew by clicking
here.
More on
Virginia's War on Deadbroke
Dads
My co-authored
column,
Virginia Declares War on Deadbroke
Dads (Norfolk Virginian-Pilot,
8/30/05), was also published
by the Fredericksburg Free
Lance-Star on September 7.
To write a Letter to the Editor
about
Virginia is treating low-income
parents like Public Enemy
No. 1, click on
letters@freelancestar.com.
Our article criticizes the
humiliating "wanted"
lists of fathers behind on
their child support being
published in Virginia newspapers.
A Note from
David Levy on 'Virginia Declares
War on Deadbroke Dads'
David Levy,
president of the Children's
Rights Council, writes:
"Glenn,
please inform your readers
that I will be presenting
Virginia Declares War on Deadbroke
Dads (Norfolk Virginian-Pilot,
8/30/05) to Margot Bean, the
new federal Child Support
Commissioner, when I meet
with her on Monday, Sept.
12, in her office at the U.S.
Department of Health and Human
Services in Washington, D.C.
The Child Support Commissioner
has a budget of $4 billion
annually, and has more than
60,000 employees across the
country responsible for child
support issues. Bean
is the former child support
director in New York State.
She is considered to be competent
and a nice person. I
had already asked her to talk
on eight different topics,
including the need for more
downward child support modifications,
the need for an ombudsman
to explain rights to non-custodial
parents, and more emphasis
on access (visitation) across
the country. She will
have four of her top aides
at the meeting with me to
discuss these various topics.
I think your column raises
so many important and timely
topics that I would be remiss
if I did not give the column
to her personally. Thank
you for all you do.
David L.
Levy, Esq.
Chief Executive Officer
The Children's Rights Council"
Let's hope Levy, a dedicated
and articulate advocate for
shared parenting, finds receptive
ears. To hear Levy on His
Side, go to
A Mother's Day Tribute to
Mothers Who Co-Parent
(5/9/04).
Victory:
Governor Schwarzenegger Signs
Military Parents' Bill!
Last week
California Governor Arnold
Schwarzenegger signed SB 1082,
a bill which will help military
parents. The bill addresses
the way parents who serve
are often taken advantage
of in custody and family law
matters while they are deployed.
Also, it will help resolve
the child support nightmare
many mobilized reservists
face.
Lobbyist
Michael Robinson has asked
me to thank the Sackson Horde
for all the calls and letters
you made in support of the
bill during our campaign back
in April. Working through
the
Military Parents Alliance,
your efforts helped build
support for the bill. In fact,
the Senate Judiciary Committee
Analysis of SB 1082 made specific
note of your calls and letters.
To learn more about SB 1082,
see my co-authored column
California's Military Reservists
Need SB 1082 (Riverside
Press-Enterprise, 4/14/05).
Special credit
goes to Robinson and Stan
Diorio for their fantastic
work in passing this bill.
The bill was sponsored by
Senators Denise Moreno Ducheny
(D-San Diego) and Bill Morrow
(R-Oceanside).
According
to Robinson, Senator Morrow
was first inspired to take
up this cause after he read
The Betrayal of the Military
Father (Los Angeles Daily
News, 5/4/03). It is the story
of Gary S., a San Diego-based
US Navy SEAL whose little
boy was permanently moved
from California to the Middle
East against his will while
he was deployed in Afghanistan
after the September 11 terrorist
attacks. To hear an
interview with Gary on His
Side, go to
Two Years into Iraq War, Little
Has Been Done to Protect the
Rights of Military Fathers
(3/13/05).
This is a
nice victory but there is
much to be done and many more
battles to fight. Working
with the
Military Parents Alliance
we are pursuing action for
military parents in several
states (most notably Michigan),
and also at the federal level.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
& My Wife
I was asked
to be a part of the signing
ceremony for the bill, which
made my wife--a huge Arnold
fan--very jealous. She has
made it clear she would leave
me for him if she had the
chance. I can't say I'd blame
her. Last week I was all set
to go to Sacramento and get
a picture of Arnold and I
grinning and shaking hands,
but Schwarzenegger decided
to dispense with the signing
ceremony and went ahead and
signed the bill. Damn--I was
looking forward to rubbing
that picture in my wife's
face for at least a decade
or two...
Child Support
Injustice: Francis Borgia
Speaks
In several
of my newspapers columns and
on
His Side I have discussed
the case of Francis
Borgia, a deadbroke dad who
attempted suicide in a Kentucky
courtroom after being sentenced
to prison for two years for
a fake $7,000 child support
arrearage. Like so many so-called
"deadbeat dads,"
Borgia's problem was not a
refusal to pay, but instead
his inability to get a downward
modification on his child
support after he was laid
off of a good paying job.
To learn more, read my co-authored
column
Persecuting Low Income Parents
(Cincinnati Post, Kentucky
Post, 8/26/05) and listen
to my radio commentary on
Borgia at
Deadbeat Dad or Deadbroke
Dad?
Borgia now
works two jobs to pay his
child support and fake arrearages.
He leaves his home every day
at 6:30 AM and returns at
11:30 PM--guaranteeing that
he will have no family time,
and not even enough time to
get 7 hours of sleep. He says
"I feel like a slave."
His recent letter to me is
below. Borgia can be reached
at
fborg65@hotmail.com.
"Dear
Glenn,
Hello, First
let me introduce myself. My
name is Francis Borgia. I
read your article on
Persecuting Low Income Parents.
Will the
courts ever relieve us of
this torment? Probably not.
I am still a 'deadbroke' Dad,
only now I am dead tired.
I am Dead Tired and exhausted
of working 2 jobs trying to
meet the courts obligations
for child support. (The court
ordered me to work 2 jobs
or I will be put back in jail.)
I have asked
to have my child support reduced
because my son is now a grown
man 18 years of age.
I am still waiting. I have
been waiting since May. So
how long does it take the
state to make modifications
to lower the obligations?
They are real quick to point
fingers and have somebody
thrown in jail, but take their
sweet time to make any changes
when it comes to lowering
the obligations. (That's the
reason why I was behind in
the first place.) I
have been jailed again after
I got out of prison because
of failure to pay child support
again (mostly because I had
no work). My new wife Karen
bailed me out and it took
everything we had to do it.
A lot of the cause is my remarried
ex-wife. She married a very
wealthy man. She told me that
she would do anything in her
power to make sure that I
never get to see my daughter
again, and that she will do
anything in her power to make
sure that I live the rest
of my life in prison or see
me dead.
I don't know
what I did to make her so
bitter and angry. (Besides
being broke all the time.)
Now the only life I have is
working 2 jobs every day and
hardly ever seeing my family.
What kind of life is that?
I LOVE my children very much
and miss them dearly. I am
sure their mothers told them
I don't care about them and
don't love them.
I would like
to see them again and be a
part of their lives. (hard
to do working 2 jobs. Believe
me; If there is any way I
could contact them I would.
Well I have get to go get
ready to go back to work.
I wish all fathers that care
for their children the best.
Francis Borgia
fborg65@hotmail.com"
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12, 2005.
Making things better with
the woman in your life
Is this familiar? No matter
how hard you try to please
the woman in your life, she's
not happy and you don't feel
appreciated or respected.
You're not alone. Many people
are realizing current ideas
about what a man should be
are not working.
Being the Strong Man a Woman
Wants: Timeless wisdom on
being a man by
Elliott Katz is the time-tested
wisdom a man was taught on
how to make things better
with his wife in the days
when marriages lasted a lifetime
-- the wisdom that men learned
from their fathers before
the era of the "absent
father." It's a fast
read and available in bookstores,
Amazon.com and
Barnes & Noble.com
Militant Grandmas Fight for
Shared Parenting
Three Sides to Every Story
is an organization set up
by militant grandma
Bessie Hudgins to help
fathers in their fight to
stay in their children's lives
after divorce or separation.
Hudgins has fought a 16-year
battle to keep in touch with
three of her granddaughters.
Her son is a divorced dad
who was pushed out of his
daughters' lives. Bessie can
be contacted at
three3sides@aol.com or
at 706-882-2897.
Are You Looking to Earn Money
Working from Home?
If you're
tired of working long hours
away from home and are interested
in starting a home based business,
check out
www.EntrepreneurfromHome.com.
Many people are earning good
incomes working from the comfort
of their own homes, while
also being there for those
special moments with their
children. To learn more, go
to
www.EntrepreneurfromHome.com
or call 1-800-705-0528. Don't
your kids deserve to have
a happy parent at home?
Best Wishes,
Glenn Sacks
GlennSacks.com
HisSide.com
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